Need a Slow Down...

Had a fabulous evening at Book Club (aka Wine Club) with some wonderful gals! I love having girls’ nights, kicking back, relaxing, and just being silly with my girlfriends! Tonight it really made me miss my friends back home and my carefree college days with all my beautiful sorority sisters. I’ve been missing a lot lately...

My Momma. Missouri. St Louis. Alex’s. AD/LJ/RD. Stillwater. The Z Tau house. My brother. Fall. Sleeping in. Lexi. The Grotto. Rolla. Ted Drewes. Small towns. My beautiful cousins. Tablerock. Dirt roads. Our sailboat. My grandparents. Having time to read. My crazy awesome in-laws. Maid-Rite. The Brew Crew. The Hill. Family ski trips. The mountains. Holidays. Going to concerts. Sitting on the front porch. Rain. No traffic. Soulard. Float trips. Date nights. Stars. Relaxing. 

A random list. But so true. Sometimes you miss where you’re from. And the people you can’t be with all the time. And the things you love to do but just don’t have time for. I think I’m in need of a slow down...

For Lexi

Christmas morning, right after meeting her 
new Mommy

"My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am." 

- Author Unknown

One month ago our baby girl Lexi went missing. For those of you that know me, you probably know Lexi. For those who don't, let me introduce you to the most amazing little animal who changed my life forever. The least I can do is tell the world her story...I owe her that much.

On Christmas morning in 2006, I opened up a large gift under the tree to find this little furball curled up inside. She was so soft and fluffy, the most innocent animal I'd ever seen. I had begged and pleaded with my parents for years to buy me a dog. Specifically a yorkie. Mom had always said no, insisting that we just weren't dog people. But things change, and people change. In March earlier that year, my brother Phillip passed away. Our family was grieving and trying to deal with our world being flipped upside down. I had just transferred colleges to be home with my parents, and was trying to adjust to life as the now only child. Lexi was my parent's version of therapy for me. They knew how much I had been wanting a dog and I think they were looking for something to make that Christmas a little more bearable for me, to distract me from the reality that it was the first of many Christmas mornings we’d be celebrating without Phillip. Little did they know how much joy that puppy would bring into all of our lives. 

Happy 1st Birthday to Lexi and Happy
22nd to me!

Lexi and I were meant to be. Her birthday was the day before mine and we always celebrated together! For her 1st Birthday, om even made a Lexi cake. The only thing we didn't see eye to eye on was fashion. She was not so keen on the idea of wearing all those cute clothes I insisted on buying her. So eventually I learned that as much as I wanted her to be my little princess, she was really a tomboy who loved to play fetch for hours and hours on end, jump in the creek, chase birds and squirrels, and roll around in the grass...usually right after I gave her a bath. I could occasionally get her into her puffy winter jacket when there was snow on the ground, but that was about the extent of her girly nature. Though that didn’t stop Mom from getting her a Coach collar the next year for Christmas...

Clark and Lexi breaking the rules.
 Me: Clark, get the dog off the table.
Clark: In his Lexi voice, “Mommy
I don’t like being on the floor so
far away from all of you and I’m cold.”
Guess who won?

Lexi's love and energy was infectious. First there were my parents (you know, the non-dog people), who toted pictures of her and showed off their "Grand Dog" to anyone who would listen. They loved taking her to the lake with them, she'd wear her life jacket, go sailing, and socialize with all the dock neighbors. When Lexi and I moved to Texas so I could pretend to be a grown-up, I'm not sure who my parents missed more...me or the dog? And then there was everyone else who got to spend time with Lexi: my grandparents, who adored playing with her; my cousins who liked to dress her up; and my friends who were much less interested in whether or not I was coming to visit and much more interested in making sure I was bringing Lexi along. 

Lexi was really happy when
 we got engaged!

One day, about 4 months after Lexi had become part of our family, she met Clark, my now husband and her Daddy. Clark was a dog person. The only problem was that Lexi didn't meet his definition of a dog. He believed a dog had to be big and manly, with a loud bark, and plenty of slobber and hair shedding. However it didn't take long for him to become a smitten kitten with Lexi. I can't begin to tell you how many times I would tell her no, or say she couldn't have another treat and he would sneak around and give her exactly what she wanted. In his baby voice he'd say "but Lexi needs a treat, she's been such a good girl" or something equally convincing to win me over. Those two could get away with anything...and were so darn cute doing it. 


Lexi brought an enormous amount of joy to my life. Joy that I wasn't convinced existed after some of the tough times I had been through. Joy that I didn’t really know animals could give you. Joy that words can't really do justice. We shared some of the biggest milestones that people have in life together: graduating college, moving out on our own, starting that first “big girl” job, buying a house, getting engaged, getting married... the whole twenty-something bucket list really. I couldn’t have picked a more loving, loyal animal to have by my side while I was figuring out who I was and what I wanted in this life. 

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. 

~Roger Caras

Five years later I'm feeling a sense of loss again. A loss that I'm not sure how to handle. After all, she's an animal. But I'm grieving. And I'm praying every day that she's safe and sound, which I truly believe she is. And most importantly I’m hoping that she’s bringing a little joy to someone else. My best friend reminded me the other day about how much I needed Lexi when she came into my life and that maybe there was someone out there who needed her now the way I needed her then. And as much as I miss her every single day, knowing she could be giving someone else what she gave to me starts to make it a little more okay. I love you Lexi dog. Thank you for being everything I ever needed and so much more.  

Sharon Ellman Photography

Our perfect little family.
Sharon Ellman Photography

Not a good start to the day...

Ways to test your husband's patience: run out of gas in his car, on 103 degree day, and then complain that he isn't driving fast enough to come rescue you.

Stupidity for the win today. I'm a sweaty hot mess. Literally.

Adele - ''Someone Like You''

Simply amazing. She has this incredible gift for singing those feelings that we've all felt at one time or another. Might have cried the first time I heard this. I think someone said it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Pretty sure they were completely right. 

LOVE.

Long time. No Write.

So basically I am a terrible blogger. I had the best of intentions, but it appears that those intentions have been OBE (Overcome By Events for all you lucky kids not living in corporate America). So here it is, more than 6 months since my last post. Maybe I should give this another shot...


I'm working on coming up with new blog topics, but for now here's a quick recap of this crazy year so far:

• January kicked off with our 2nd Annual Party in Your PJ's NYE party at our house. It was awesome. Of course. 
• The next couple months were full of wedding planning, showers, and of course my epic bachelorette party. That may deserve it's own blog post one of these days.
• We got MARRIED. That's right. New. Last. Name. Wahoo!
• The hubby and I honeymooned in beautiful Antigua for 7 glorious days.
• Found out my best friend is having a baby and one of my other best friends is getting married. ((I hear she has a pretty awesome MOH))
• So far in 2011 I've been to: California, London, Oklahoma (x3), Missouri (x3), Austin TX, Alabama, and Antigua. Whew. 
• We've had a crazy summer attending weddings, traveling to the lake for the 4th of July to spend time with friends and family, taking a trip to New Braunfels to go floating, watching the Rangers play baseball and playing kickball with our Texas friends!
• I'm counting down...only 3 weeks until grad school starts. 

That's all for now...it feels good to write again.

Photo Courtesy of Alecia Hoyt Photography

Celebrate 2011

It's almost 3am and I'm still up sipping champagne. Everyone else in the house is sleeping (lots of leftover house guests!), the food is still sitting out, and the bubbly is getting warm. You might ask why I'm still up. First of all, I really love champagne and I think it's a sin to pour out a perfectly good bottle that's already open. And second of all, I'm still celebrating. I really don't see the need to stop celebrating at midnight.

I've decided that my New Year's resolution is going to be to celebrate. Not just the big stuff - engagements, weddings, promotions, babies. Those are obvious reasons to celebrate. Who doesn't love something exciting to happen?? But what about about the little stuff? Too often we forget to celebrate a sunset, a snuggly puppy, or even a great day at the office. Too often we forget to celebrate being healthy enough to go for a walk, or to see a good friend, or to have a fun date night. I really believe you should always have a bottle of champagne chilling. You never know when a good moment to celebrate might present itself.

Most years I'm happy to see another year pass. Whether it was because I was anxious to get older or because I thought something better was lurking around the corner, New Year's Eve has always been a favorite of mine. This year is a bit different. This year I'm sad to see 2010 go. Because although it was a trying year, I learned so much and I grew even more than I thought possible. My best friend asked me to be his wife. I got a new job. I made new friends. I settled into our beautiful home. I spent countless hours giggling with my girlfriends over wedding plans. I hosted parties. Spent holidays with our families. I battled an illness I never thought I would have to conquer. I healed. I traveled. I loved.

And although I'm sad to see the year gone, I know 2011 has so much in store for me, and I can't wait celebrate everything it has to offer. Loves. And Cheers! Happy New Year!

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

    

Beautiful. Love. Love. Love it.

"So put on your best boys, and I'll wear my pearls..." 

Funny of the Day...

I'm glad I found someone to annoy. Forever ever.

Friends

It's 4am and I can't sleep. Someone should write a song about that...oh wait, that's been done. This has been a common occurrence lately. Too much on my mind I guess... I normally lay in bed and fight it, hoping for just 5 more minutes of rest before my alarm starts blaring and my busy day forces me out into the world. However, when I rolled over and checked my phone this morning I noticed I had a new text message from a good friend. She told me to write on my blog because it was good for me. Thanks NB, I needed that encouragement.


I've been thinking a lot about all the amazing friends in my life lately. I had great friends in high school and college, lots that I still keep in touch with, some who are my best friends. I've also made a lot of new friends in the past couple of years, something I wasn't convinced people actually did as they got older.


When I graduated from college over 2 years ago and moved to Dallas to strike out on my own, I never thought I'd have friends like I've made down here. The first few months were hard. I'm a bit of a social butterfly, so living in an apartment by myself for the first time, in a new city, was too much at times. Of course there were other factors. My fiance (bf at the time) was back in St Louis the first year I was here and as you can imagine, I missed him. A lot. But we were determined to make it work, so I spent a lot of that first year on an airplane, flying back and forth and seeing him as much as possible. Maybe it was that, or maybe it's just tough to make friends at first. Either way, it was a little more than discouraging and I was convinced this place would never be my home.

"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - Winnie the Pooh

I started making a few friends at work, going to happy hours and joining a work softball team. It's funny how going on a work trip or hanging out at happy hour or playing softball with someone can turn into a real friendship. I've had people tell me they don't socialize with people at work, or that it's bad to mix your professional and personal life. I couldn't disagree more. I've made some of the best friends through work. 


It also didn't hurt that several of my sorority sisters from college were in the area when I moved here and more started trickling in as time went on. One of my best friends from high school moved here and now lives 5 miles away from me! I'm not sure if I'm just extremely lucky, or if Dallas has some magnetic force pulling the people I love here. 


I joined a book club and met a great group of girls that I hang out with at least once a month. I'm convinced girls night out is good for the soul. When my fiance moved down here, he started making friends at work too. Again who are you people who don't work with anyone cool?? We do. 


All of the sudden I look around and I literally have more friends around me than I know what to do with. Sometimes it's slightly overwhelming because I literally don't have time to see everyone as often as I want to see them. This last year has been challenging and exciting and scary. I got engaged, spent some time in the hospital, and took a new job. Throughout the year, I was continually amazed at how my friends were there for me...sending me flowers, visiting me in the hospital, throwing us an engagement party, bringing champagne to celebrate the new job, and the list goes on. I've made some amazing memories in the last two years and have realized that growing up doesn't mean giving up the type of friendships I had when I was younger. It just means I get more friends along the way. 


So friends, if you're reading this, thank you for being you. And thank you for being great friends. 

Mad Typing

So I'm officially a terrible blogger. It's been over 2 weeks and nothing. I've been stressing out majorly trying to think of something clever to write. Something that others could relate to. Something that I could relate to. But nothing. Nada. Apparently I'm "mad typing" right now according to my fiance. I guess I'm taking out my frustration on the keyboard. Frustration frustration frustration. No great blog ideas. Maybe I need a new hobby. Or some suggestions (HINT HINT at anyone reading this). I think I'll give me keyboard a break from the violence I'm inflicting on it.