For Lexi

Christmas morning, right after meeting her 
new Mommy

"My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am." 

- Author Unknown

One month ago our baby girl Lexi went missing. For those of you that know me, you probably know Lexi. For those who don't, let me introduce you to the most amazing little animal who changed my life forever. The least I can do is tell the world her story...I owe her that much.

On Christmas morning in 2006, I opened up a large gift under the tree to find this little furball curled up inside. She was so soft and fluffy, the most innocent animal I'd ever seen. I had begged and pleaded with my parents for years to buy me a dog. Specifically a yorkie. Mom had always said no, insisting that we just weren't dog people. But things change, and people change. In March earlier that year, my brother Phillip passed away. Our family was grieving and trying to deal with our world being flipped upside down. I had just transferred colleges to be home with my parents, and was trying to adjust to life as the now only child. Lexi was my parent's version of therapy for me. They knew how much I had been wanting a dog and I think they were looking for something to make that Christmas a little more bearable for me, to distract me from the reality that it was the first of many Christmas mornings we’d be celebrating without Phillip. Little did they know how much joy that puppy would bring into all of our lives. 

Happy 1st Birthday to Lexi and Happy
22nd to me!

Lexi and I were meant to be. Her birthday was the day before mine and we always celebrated together! For her 1st Birthday, om even made a Lexi cake. The only thing we didn't see eye to eye on was fashion. She was not so keen on the idea of wearing all those cute clothes I insisted on buying her. So eventually I learned that as much as I wanted her to be my little princess, she was really a tomboy who loved to play fetch for hours and hours on end, jump in the creek, chase birds and squirrels, and roll around in the grass...usually right after I gave her a bath. I could occasionally get her into her puffy winter jacket when there was snow on the ground, but that was about the extent of her girly nature. Though that didn’t stop Mom from getting her a Coach collar the next year for Christmas...

Clark and Lexi breaking the rules.
 Me: Clark, get the dog off the table.
Clark: In his Lexi voice, “Mommy
I don’t like being on the floor so
far away from all of you and I’m cold.”
Guess who won?

Lexi's love and energy was infectious. First there were my parents (you know, the non-dog people), who toted pictures of her and showed off their "Grand Dog" to anyone who would listen. They loved taking her to the lake with them, she'd wear her life jacket, go sailing, and socialize with all the dock neighbors. When Lexi and I moved to Texas so I could pretend to be a grown-up, I'm not sure who my parents missed more...me or the dog? And then there was everyone else who got to spend time with Lexi: my grandparents, who adored playing with her; my cousins who liked to dress her up; and my friends who were much less interested in whether or not I was coming to visit and much more interested in making sure I was bringing Lexi along. 

Lexi was really happy when
 we got engaged!

One day, about 4 months after Lexi had become part of our family, she met Clark, my now husband and her Daddy. Clark was a dog person. The only problem was that Lexi didn't meet his definition of a dog. He believed a dog had to be big and manly, with a loud bark, and plenty of slobber and hair shedding. However it didn't take long for him to become a smitten kitten with Lexi. I can't begin to tell you how many times I would tell her no, or say she couldn't have another treat and he would sneak around and give her exactly what she wanted. In his baby voice he'd say "but Lexi needs a treat, she's been such a good girl" or something equally convincing to win me over. Those two could get away with anything...and were so darn cute doing it. 


Lexi brought an enormous amount of joy to my life. Joy that I wasn't convinced existed after some of the tough times I had been through. Joy that I didn’t really know animals could give you. Joy that words can't really do justice. We shared some of the biggest milestones that people have in life together: graduating college, moving out on our own, starting that first “big girl” job, buying a house, getting engaged, getting married... the whole twenty-something bucket list really. I couldn’t have picked a more loving, loyal animal to have by my side while I was figuring out who I was and what I wanted in this life. 

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. 

~Roger Caras

Five years later I'm feeling a sense of loss again. A loss that I'm not sure how to handle. After all, she's an animal. But I'm grieving. And I'm praying every day that she's safe and sound, which I truly believe she is. And most importantly I’m hoping that she’s bringing a little joy to someone else. My best friend reminded me the other day about how much I needed Lexi when she came into my life and that maybe there was someone out there who needed her now the way I needed her then. And as much as I miss her every single day, knowing she could be giving someone else what she gave to me starts to make it a little more okay. I love you Lexi dog. Thank you for being everything I ever needed and so much more.  

Sharon Ellman Photography

Our perfect little family.
Sharon Ellman Photography